Parental Alienation Is Child Abuse So Why Don’t We Follow Other Countries And Stamp It Out?

Parental Alienation is recognised in many countries around the world as child abuse and laws have been changed to stamp this cruel and selfish act out, in the best interests of children. Sadly, the UK is way behind in this matter and courts still do not recognise Parental Alienation as the abuse it is.

We receive hundreds of messages supporting a change in the law but the government, as always, is slow to act. A review of family law is under way and in the Autumn of 2011 the findings are expected to be available.

This is by no means the end of the matter. We need more and constant pressure on our MPs, government and more direct-action campaigning in order to stamp out this cruel abuse to children.

Parental Alienation needs to be recognised by CAFCASS and the courts, just as it is in Brazil, Canada, Australia and many states in the USA.

We need your support so please contribute stories and articles on this site so we can keep up the pressure.

Thank you

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8 Responses to Parental Alienation Is Child Abuse So Why Don’t We Follow Other Countries And Stamp It Out?

  1. Yasmin Mawani says:

    Roger, who is my son’s father is a schoolteacher who specialises in teaching I.T. in secondary school. He’s 59 years old and I’m 54. My son Jack is now 15, but when Jack was just a year old, I found that I couldn’t continue living with Roger anymore because I found his behaviour too stressful for me to cope with. I took Jack with me and we left. Roger didn’t mind becoming separated from Jack. It’s only after I moved out and I asked Roger for some help with the maintenance that he began harrassing me. He wanted contact with Jack, so I didn’t object with the first two court applications he made, but when I began noticing he wasn’t friendly, keen or interested to work with me as in a partnership for the sakes of Jack, and that he was intent on making more contact applications, that I felt I had to object to the court because my son kept becoming ill and I knew Roger wasn’t taking care of Jack properly. The court and Cafcass ignored my objections in all of Roger’s court applications. Roger kept persistently making contact applications and getting all the contact. Roger was bombarding Jack with lots of computer games and video consoles, allowing Jack to bring them home after contact against my wish, and he got Jack addicted with game playing and eating junk food. Cafcass ignored these objections. Roger was doing everything the opposite of what I was wanting and trying to do for Jack. Roger was damaging Jack’s relationship with me by this negative destruction which I just didn’t know how to deal with, and Cafcass ignored me, which made me feel even more antagonised. Roger made several referrals about me being a mentally unstable mother to social sevices, and had me investigated, but they found nothing. Roger made an application for residence when Jack was eight, but he turned it down because he didn’t want to attend the family therapy sessions as ordered by the court. He then tried to abduct Jack from my house when Jack was 13 whilst he had made another application for a residence order. He called the police, saying that I had hit Jack. When police asked Jack if I had hit him, he said no, and told police that he was feeling very unhappy with his life. Social workers came to my house, wanting to help Jack with his emotional problems, but Jack kept refusing, probably because his dad must have told him not to take any help. When this was all brought up in the court, along with the Cafcass report and the Expert’s report, they made a judgement in placing Jack with his father because it’s what “Jack wants”. Cafcass didn’t care about Jack not receiving the help from the social services, and neither did the expert. They just put Jack with his father, and this was the sad ending. It’s now been nine months without me being with Jack, and I’m very unhappy and psychologically damaged. No one cares about Jack and me. We’re just losers. They only care about Roger, they gave him the full cutody and residence, and he’s happy because he won and can get keep Jack all to himself and can do whatever he likes with him.
    Take my advice: never trust a teacher and never trust Cafcass.

  2. J.Brown says:

    In Sept 2006 my son (then 7) confided in me that his half brothers dad had been hitting him because he wet the bed. My first instinct was to confront the man in question with serious violence, however I did “the right thing” and contacted social services. As a result they contacted her and closed the case. As punishment, my sons mother denied me access for over 2 months until he ran away from her house to come and see me. He was found by British Transport Police at his local train station and returned home; this happened to be the catalyst that social services needed to act. They investigated and found that his mothers partner was actually wanted by the police, however they were not allowed to enter the property to check on the children without adequate police protection, something they had trouble organising.
    Over the next few weeks I had limited contact with Islington SS who told me they would be seeking an Interim care order, described as a first step towards getting his mother the help she needed. I was told the day before the court case and assured that I dont need to attend.
    Being a suspicious person I contacted a solicitor who informed me that it was imperative that I attend and was able to meet me at court the next morning.
    After a full day (10.am- 6.30pm) of fighting tooth and nail I was granted temporary custody of my son while his younger half brother was placed in temporary foster care.

    Thus began a year long court battle. Even though I had stated from the start that if my son wanted to return home and his mother was able to provide a safe environment for him then I would be more than willing to support his decision, I was subjected to false claims and attacks by both his mother and Islington SS. During the course of the proccedings I was forced to drop out of university, give up my job and finally leave my family home as the pressure on myself and my partner was far too great. We were investigated for a number of outlandish claims; all of which fell at the first hurdle but had the effect of ruining our relationship.
    At the end of the procceding I was given PR and his mother was given a 1yr supervision order.

    Fast forward to Dec 2010.
    My son was due to come to me the second week in Dec but his mother spend 4hrs creating excuses and wasting time. As a result the table I had booked for dinner had to be cancelled and I was less than pleased. I sent her a message to show my displeasure (not at all abusive as I am very wary of what I say or send to her), she responded by refusing me access.
    So now here we are; I have not seen my son for almost 2 months, his christmas presents are STILL stood in the corner of my living room, I am not allowed to speak to him on the phone or in person, I have only managed to speak to his mother once since this began (3days ago), my daughter is in pieces because she wants to see her big brother and now knows he will not be attending her birthday party tomorrow.
    I dont want to return to court but what can I do? My partner is pregnant and due mid Februaury, I know I cant spend another year in court and I know it will affect my son more than anything, however I know I have no choice.
    When he was 7months old his mother left us for a year, one of the best periods of my life as we were allowed to bond fantastically. Since then I have him every weekend and all through the holidays, apart from the occasions where his mother has tried to flex her parental muscles. I love him so much and I just want to see him. How can one selfish b***h affect so many lives without even thinking. I want to give up as i just dont have the energy but I know i never will.

    When family courts and SS are held accountable we will start to see positive changes in our children, from education to crime. As it stands I believe they actively encourage and support certain mothers to disrupt the lives of their children with the result that the amount of children in care is constantly swelling- I should know, I work with young offenders and children who are failing in education. Can you guess what ties the majority of them together?

    • admin says:

      Thank you for your post. It is very sad to hear and the fact that cases like this are so common is disgusting!

      I believe it is all money-fuelled so courts, lawyers and government make dads pay but it costs society so much more in damaged children and communities.

      What do you think ties them together?

  3. J.Brown says:

    The main link I find between the young people I work with is family breakdown and a distinct lack of male role models. In my work with young offenders I find that a vast majority of them have no contact with their fathers and often no clear idea of who they are. This leads to feelings of abandonment and a lack of self worth. In workshops that we run many of them openly blame their absent fathers for the lack of direction in their lives and admit that the only male role models they have are friends of a similar age. As I work with a number of gang related offenders in North London this is obviously a worrying state of affairs. In my work with failing students I have found that again most of the young men have no father figures; indeed, the boys that i have helped to achieve educational goals are the boys who usually see me as a substitute for their absent fathers. Although I know it crosses the line, I sometimes receive phone calls after work and on the weekends from my young clients to seek advice or just to hear a friendly sensible voice. As a result of my approach, I have “rescued” 3 young people from the notorious Wood Green Mob (google them if you have not heard of them!) in the last 5 months. All of these boys are younger than 17 and have all realised that they only became involved in gangs because they crave acceptance from senior male figures.
    I am not proffesing to be a modern day Jesus or a know it all, but I am aware of what affects the young people around me. It breaks my heart to know that after all the time i have invested in my son- willingly as opposed to a sense of duty- that he is being encouraged to follow in the footsteps of the same youth that I work so hard to influence. In the past 4 months my son (who started secondary school i n sept 2010) has spent 30% of his time in referal due to his disruptive behaviour and is behind in 7(!) subjects.
    When he stays at his mothers house on the weekend he spends his time playing adult themed computer games such as Modern Warfare, GTA and Gears of War.
    As we currently live in Haringey and I am faced with the results of these factors on a daily basis I am now more fearful of him slipping through the cracks than ever.
    And what advice from his mothers Social worker? Not to harass her and wait for her to approach me.

    • admin says:

      I really feel for you. You sound a good person and a good father. I would do anything to see my daughter more but CAFCASS do nothing but support the mother despite them agreeing that she does not act in our child’s best interest.

      I feel helpless but I will continue to promote yours and others cases until laws are changed, so that fathers are no longer discriminated against.

  4. Moomins says:

    My partner has gone through a series of batterings by his ex. I have been with him one year and in this time this vile woman has accused me of physical child abuse as i had just finished a 72 hour shift and asked my partner if we could have his daughter the next day. This woman then went on to make allegations that I was an alcoholic for reasons still to this day is unknown. I had no choice but to seek police involvment in order for her to stay away from me. After a few months everything appeared well until she bumped into my partner and I taking our dog for a walk. This woman proceeded to try and be little my partner to which point i told her where to go. Now all of a sudden he is denied access on the grounds of ‘your not dancing to my tune’. This woman has openly through texts admitted that she will be telling her daughter how evil his dad is as well as me, that she has changed her surname to her current boyfriend (yet my partner is on the birth certificate), how she will be adopted by the new currnet bit of fluff, how they will be moving away and then went on to attempt to use my own child in her blind rage for revenge. Not once has she thought about her childs feelings in this. I am appalled that this country does not recognise this as psychological abuse as it is so clearly obvious the motive of this woman is that of point scoring not what is best for the child!

  5. Yasmin Mawani says:

    The parent who alienates a child from the other parent who is a loving and caring parent, has no empathy, are very bitter, has no feelings and consideration towards another human being, no interest in child rearing and child care, has destructive tendencies and usually are “full of themselves”. They are clever in manipulating and lying and are very convincing. If a court gives custody and residence to a parent who has alienated the child from the other parent, (who was the custodial parent) then that child will continue to be neglected as the alienator would not be able to provide for the child’s needs or control and discipline the child in an appropriate manner as the child becomes older.

  6. Royboy says:

    I really don’t know how these bad parents aren’t spotted… last week i took my daughter swimming with my partner. As i didnt tell my ex i was meeting others .. i am accused of lying….. and my daughter cannot trust me. Hence contact will be stopped with immediate effect. my girl is 10. i have had regular contact for 5 years. Suddenly i am unfit. Maybe its because i applied for parental rights?> I almost wish i didnt apply, but my ex has just met a new fella and wants to move away , making him the guardian !! The ex takes no part in my daughters homework…. keeps her off school for the slightest of reasons . Am putting my faith in the system and the cafcass officer !! Dear god i hope i am lucky !!

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